Lost in Lawn Guyland

Hi

I am an unwilling captive being held in Long Island for the next two years. I tried digging a tunnel to escape but kept hitting water. Can anyone recommend any classes out here? Maybe there is one sandwiched between the auto dealerships and megamalls that I haven't found. I took a class at the Art League of Long Island but can't find much more of anything. It seems strange to me that I haven't been able to find anything. Perhaps I am looking in the wrong places.